Maternal burnout is still a very taboo subject in our societies.
Many women only get help when they have crossed the red line, the burnout line, the one where the body tells us to stop and prevents us from moving forward.
Why is maternal burnout taboo?
How to confess to your spouse, friends, family and sometimes even to yourself, without being judged, that you have:
- thought, even for a second, about throwing your child out the window
- felt like screaming, slapping or even hitting your child
- wanted to go to a hotel for a few days ONLY to sleep and watch TV
- doubted your ability and / or desire to be a mother … or even to love your kids
Such thoughts are very guilt-inducing compared with the ideal of perfect parents, with perfect children in a perfect world that you have set to yourself. However, it is only too natural and very frequent to have such thoughts… To accept this type of thoughts, this type of mental impulse, is to accept the imperfection linked to the human condition… To accept and recognize this type of thoughts, is also to put them at a distance. Recognize them only for what they are: mere passing thoughts that soon vanish… and this distancing helps to avoid acting out, which could be serious …
Accepting and letting go is definitely the best recipe for taking the pressure off our internal pressure cooker and avoiding dramas that will go far beyond mere thought.
Sophrology is definitely a great help in this type of case, do not hesitate to read more on this subject.
Managing to accept…
- Everyone does not hold the same cards. Some mothers are fortunate enough to be helped and get support.
- Over-interpretation is dangerous. You are in fact not sure what is going on inside this mother who seems so perfect. Who tells you she’s not hiding great chaos?
- Detaching yourself from the gaze of others and their judgment is probably the best way to live happier.
Fight against images of …
– Perfection that does not exist and whose definition varies from person to person.
– Status of absolutely, intrinsically and continuously fulfilled mother.
Of course, being a mother is an incredible adventure, but it also involves painful constraints, compromises with our own desires, an intense expenditure of energy that leaves some women exhausted.
Therefore, to live well, without letting the woman as an individual suffocate behind the mother, it is necessary to take the time to restore balance and harmony in oneself, for oneself but also, ultimately, for the benefit of our family.